I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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