we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
