I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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