Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
