When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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