2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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