Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
