her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
