I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
please come you make the beer taste better
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
