Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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