we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
