end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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