I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
