I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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