So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
