Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
