I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
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We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
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You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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