I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
