i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
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the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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