The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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