I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
