you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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