i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
