We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
