I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
