matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
