There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
