hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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