i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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