just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
