So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
