Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
