I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
