You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i would punch a child for taco bell
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
