His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize