He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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