last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
