no. you can't hotbox the world.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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