i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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