You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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