...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
