I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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