I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize