Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
