My friends, they love my intelligence
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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