I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
