Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
