quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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