I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
