Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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