the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
