yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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