dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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