Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
