We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
