I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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