This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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