Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
