yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
