Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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