love makes seman taste better
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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