we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
